Doublespeak: Key Terms of the Palestinian/Israeli Conflict

A version of this article published in FM Magazine, Volume 6


• Terrorist: Dark-skinned men and women, you can recognize them by their flowing head scarves, barbaric weapons, and the gleam of hatred in their eyes. (Note: Only dark-skinned people can be terrorists. White people are called soldiers.) See also Palestinians.

• Suicide bombers: These terrorists are the darlings of the media and dominate U.S headlines. (Note: If suicide bombers had US-provided tanks and M-16’s, they would surely prefer to use them.) See also Palestinians.

• War in the Middle East: Also known as the Middle East Conflict. “War” implies fighting between two armies, but only one army, the Israeli Army, is illegally occupying a civilian population. See also Media.

• The Gaza Strip: Also known as Hamasville, Gaza is the world’s largest prison. There are 1.5 million people living in 146 square miles—that’s almost 11,000 people per square mile. There is 90% unemployment. The borders are controlled by Israel, including all movement of food, supplies, and people. See also Occupation.

• The Wild Wild West Bank: John Wayne territory, complete with settlers and hostile natives. It’s east of Israel but so called because it sits on the west bank of the Jordan River. Containing some of the most fertile and coveted land in the desert, the settlers that pulled out of Gaza in 2005 were relocated to the West Bank (and compensated monetarily). See also Occupation, Settlers.

• Israel: While popular rhetoric insists that Israel’s very existence is hanging by a delicate thread, Israel has one of the most powerful armies in the world, including nuclear weapons, US Apache helicopters and M-16’s. It receives more than 6 billion dollars a year from the U.S. in weapons, loans, and foreign aid, the most that the U.S. gives any country.

• The Green Line: The imaginary border between Israel and the Palestinian territories of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, which have been illegally occupied by Israel since 1967. See also Checkpoint.

• Checkpoint: Not only is this an elaborate method of controlling access in and out of the occupied territories, but it’s also a popular name for Palestinian babies born while their mothers were detained.

• Palestinians: Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. Palestinians carry no passports because they are citizens of no country. Palestinians who marry Israelis are not permitted to become citizens. See also Terrorist.

• Hamas: Hamas is the democratically-elected governing body of Palestine. However, angered that the Palestinians might choose their own leaders and not US/Israeli indoctrinated puppets, both Israel and the U.S. have refused to deal politically with Hamas.

• Jews: All Jews are not Israelis. All Israelis do not agree with the Occupation. All Jewish people do not speak with one voice. See also Self-Hating Jew.

• Self-Hating Jew: A Jewish person who hates him/herself so much that they condemn Israeli government atrocities.

• Anti-Semitism: Despite the obvious irony (both Israelis and Palestinians are Semites), the charge of anti-Semitism has been used to squelch dissent. Denouncing the policies of the Israeli government is different than hating Jewish people. Hatred for any person on the basis of race or religion should never be tolerated.

• Settlements: Colonial outposts, settlements are modern “cities” with modern amenities built illegally on the choicest pieces of confiscated land. They are connected by modern, settler-only highways—no Palestinians. Different colored license plates ensure that Palestinians stick to the back, dirt roads. See also Settlers.

• Settlers: There are over 450,000 settlers in the West Bank, on what is touted as the future Palestinian state. Often coming from the extreme right-wing of Judaism, these zealots are living on confiscated land, diverting water resources, carry government-approved automatic weapons, and can’t understand why their lives feel unsafe.

• The Media: Considered unbiased journalism, there are four Palestinian deaths to every one Israeli death, but less than one out of four is reported.

• Occupation: The ultimate “O-bomb,” this word is banned in U.S. media. (Note: It is illegal for an occupying force to relocate its own people onto occupied land. This is in violation of UN resolutions. See also United Nations.)

• Ceasefire: Palestinians are still killed during a ceasefire. The ceasefire ends when an Israeli is killed. Then endings of ceasefires are always blamed on Palestinians. See also Media, Hamas.

• Israel Defense Force: a.k.a. the Israeli Occupation Forces, all Israeli citizens, both men and women, are required to serve 2-3 years in the Army.

• Palestinian Army: Just joking. Making sure you were paying attention.

• Birth Right: If you’re Jewish you can become an Israeli citizen. If you’re under 26, they’ll even foot the bill for you to go to Israel first and check it out. And if you decide to move there, they’ll give you money to move to a settlement. See Settlements, Wild Wild West Bank.

• The Right of Return: There are over 6,000,000 Palestinian refugees who can’t return to the West Bank or Gaza. Many of them still hold the keys and deeds to their demolished houses. See also United Nations.

• United Nations: An increasingly incompetent institution, in the last 60 years there have been over 100 resolutions concerning Israel’s crimes against humanity and the right of return for refugees—never enforced. See also United States.

• The United States: Founded on Manifest Destiny and currently posing as the Middle East peacebroker, the U.S. has used its veto power over 50 times to block UN resolutions against Israel. See also Manifest Destiny.

• Manifest Destiny: The belief that the entire land mass of what is now the United States was divinely destined to belong to white people.

• Zionism: The belief that the entire land mass of the holy land should belong to god’s chosen people, the Israelis. See also Manifest Destiny.

• Two-State Solution: The two-state solution seems as if the land and available resources will be divided evenly between the two peoples. In fact, Israel is constructing a wall to contain the Palestinians, expanding and building new settlements into Palestinian territory, and killing Palestinians with impunity—over 1,000 in Gaza in Dec/Jan while the U.S. had an administrative change. See also Israeli Security Fence.

• One-State Solution: Never put on the table at any negation, this radical and offensive solution would combine Israel and Palestine into one land with all its citizens enjoying citizenship and equal rights. See also Palestinians.

• Israeli Security Fence: Twenty-five feet high and made out of concrete, topped with rolls of razor wire and surrounded by electrified ditches. It’s three times higher than the Berlin Wall. Called the Apartheid Wall or the Occupation Wall, it does not follow the border between Israel and the West Bank but is built within the Green Line, enclosing Palestinians cities and villages and appropriating land for Israel. The International Court of Justice declared the wall illegal in 2004. It is still being built today.